Whoops!
by Clover-chan
Summary: The Colonel and Ed are fighting as usual and in a fit of rage, Ed jumps on his desk only to fall into the man's lap...ShoutaYaoi


Whoops!

Pairing : Roy/Ed pairing...XD!

Warnings : Desk!Sex (hehe..perverted smile), OCness,PWP...

A/N : This story is inspired by a certain, very adorable fan comic I found somewhere on the net. Most of this story I credit to that little comic and all the other Roy/Ed fan-writer's out there. I think I've been reading a few too many of them to just up and write my own like this. I've never even finished a whole yaoi lemon scene before but...here goes.

This is also dedicated to my friends: Alishia, Caitlin, Susan and Jenny. Loves ya all! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA in any way, shape or form! Nor, do I profit from this at all!

X X X X X

" YOU GODDAMN WELL TAKE THAT BACK, YOU ASSHOLE, OR I'LL TRANSMUTE YOUR ASS INTO NEXT WEEK!"

" You and what army, Fullmetal? You got some friends down at the Chocolate Factory or something?" smirked a very amused Roy Mustang from his comfortable place behind his desk. Sometimes he just liked sitting back and watching the show that was Edward Elric.

At that comment, Ed jumped up onto said desk in a leap of fury. Continuing to yell obsenities at his commanding officer.

" - THEN YOU'LL BE SO SORRY AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO YOU IRRRITATING FUCKING PRICK? I'M GONNA-" but luck was not on our hero's side because at that exact moment, he lost his footing and fell right into...

...the colonel's lap.

There was a shocked silence for a few seconds. Partly because the wind had been knocked right out of the colonel, and Ed was just trying to catch his breath from yelling at the top of his lungs. But mostly because Ed was extremely embarassed to be this close to the colonel.

His whole upper body was pressed against Roy, his head right next to his. The young alchemist could smell the scent of his jet black hair, he was so close. It smelt pleasently of sulfer and coffee.

It was true that Ed had a bit of a crush on the man. He'd had it for a while in fact, and the heat of his face and his unwilling-ness to move away from the colonel was very quickly giving away the fact.

Roy shifted, Edward's place in his lap proving to be a bit akward but not in the uncomfortable sense. His chuckled quietly as Ed seemed to be quite content to be pressed against him like this. Ed lifted his head to look at the colonel with embarrassed cat-like eyes.

" What's so funny?" he asked, trying to hide his heated face with the shield of his bright blonde bangs.

Ebony eyes contemplated his reaction, causing Ed even more discomfort. The Flame Alchemist's strong shoulders shrugged," It's just that you seem pretty comfortable sitting in your commanding officer's lap like this. Are you enjoying yourself?"

" N-n-o. Why would I be?" studdered Edward, shaking slightly.

" I don't know...maybe you have a bit of a... crush... on me Fullmetal?"

Edward squirmed, trying to hide his embarrassment under fake anger at that comment, but he soon relized that he **was **sitting in the man's lap. By squirming the way he did, Ed's hips had brushed against Roy's, his sensitive thigh's straddling the colonel's and his hands on the man's shoulders.

If one of their subordinate's were to walk through the door, they would surely see the two looking as if getting intimate. That imagery, combined with Ed's lack of will to remove himself from the Flame alchemist and Roy's very accurate assumption of his feelings was enough to arouse said shrimp.

Edward let out a gasp when Roy shifted his one leg, pressing it against Ed's quickly hardening arousal. He tried to cover the embarassing exhalation of air with an angry look but Ed's confidence was dwindling away pretty quickly. " W-w-what m-makes you think I have the slightest attraction to you, Colonel Shit?"

Roy just smirked and moved his hand between them, grabbing Ed's arousal in a firm grip, causing the boy to shudder. After the first stroke, Ed was putty in Roy's hands. So much for hiding his feelings...

Ed leaned heavily into Roy, panting into the man's neck and rocking his hips into his hand. With his other hand, Roy reached around Ed and untied his hair, causing the blonde sheen to flow freely over the boy's shoulders. He played with the light-coloured strands before turning Ed's flushed face to his and taking the boy's first kiss.

Ed had never expected Roy's kiss to be so gentle. His lips were so soft against his own, brushing chastely against the small alchemist's mouth. Edward moved his hands from Roy's shoulder's to wrap around his neck, bringing them close, the kiss deeper. Edward moaned as Roy parted his lips and plundered his mouth. Roy, spurred on by his reaction dove deeper, pulling Ed against him until their wasn't an inch of space between them. He enthusastically explored every detail of Ed's mouth, the boy in his lap completely pliant and needy.

Air became an issue and they broke apart. Ed's face was flaming, his eyes glazed and his body willing. He wanted nothing more at that moment than for Roy's hands and mouth all over him. He wanted the man to completely possess him. Ed whimpered as Roy's hand came to the front of his pants again. The colonel struggled with the belt for a few moments before loosening the wretched thing. He pushed Ed back so he was lying on his cluttered desk. Roy leaned over him capturing Ed's swollen lips again, before pulling his tight tanktop out of his equally tight, if not tighter than usual, black pants.

Roy stroked the boy's flat stomach, kissing him into near-orgasmic bliss. Roy broke the kiss to work away Ed's clothes. Ed lay in a completely blissed-out state, completely lax but so taunt with need at the same time.

No wonder all the women love Roy...he's such a good kisser. Ed gasped as Roy captured his nipple between his teeth.

" Edward..." Roy murmured, laving the nipple with his tongue while undoing the metal clasp of Ed's overshirt. Ed writhed beneath him, his body calling out to Roy." Ed...why are you wearing so many clothes?"

" Ahhh...W-Why are you bringing t-this u-up...ah...now?" the smaller alchemist choked, his hands twisted in his colonel's jet black locks.

" Because I want you naked and screaming beneath me as fast as possible, Fullmetal." Roy chuckled with victory, finally pulling Ed's many shirts up and off of him. The colonel threw them in some obscene corner of the room and then continued to ravish Ed.

"W-What about you? You wear too many clothes too..." With that Ed reached and buried his hands in the lapel of Roy's uniform, ripping the jacket open, trying to push it off the colonel but distracted by Roy's minstrations to his body. Ed moaned and arched as Roy's skilled hands pulled him up, running his hands down his ass, pushing his pants further down. The leather was down to his knees now, the air of the room surprizingly cool on the heat of his arousal. Roy smiled, making Ed flush a darker colour and shiver in anticipation as Roy's hand moved, painstakingly down his belly towards his erection.

" Roy...," Ed gasped, ready to explode with just one touch. The corsness of Roy's gloves tickling his skin, teasing him til he was dripping with precum." Roy...ahh...s-stop...dammit t-teasing me."

" Let's get these boots off, shall we?" Roy said, the tone of his voice annoyingly unaffected, except for the breathlessness of it.

" No! Roy! Don't leave me hanging!" whined Ed as he tried to sit up, but was stopped by a hand, finally, around his arousal. He fell back again and arched into the hand. Roy squeezed, stopping Ed from coming. Ed groaned, his blonde head thrown back, streakes of white flashing behind his eyelids as he gripped the edge of the wooden desk, creasing the wood with his metal fingers. " Oh god...Roy."

" Take it easy...shhhh." Roy murmered, kissing Ed soundly. He pulled his boots off with one hand and continued the pull the sweaty leather down Ed's shaking legs.

Finally Ed was naked and Roy couldn't be happier. The older alchemist started to shrug his heavy blue jacket off, along with his white dress shirt. Ed tried to help but he was so aroused that his fingers fumbled with the buttons. Roy undid the fly on his pants, letting his own arousal free. Edward shivered when he saw it, Roy was so big and hard.

The smaller alchemist reached up to Roy, pulling him into a heart-stopping kiss. Roy leaned Ed back onto the desk in the kiss, his hand reaching down to prepare the boy. His finger played with the ring of muscle, trying to relax Ed so there wouldn't be anymore pain than was necessary. Roy got one finger in to the knuckle. Ed moaned into his mouth at the action as the first finger was joined by a second. Soon, the older alchemist had three digits into the boy, thrusting them in and out, getting Ed ready for something much bigger than three fingers.

Ed arched into the motion, his hips rocking to the rythem. It was a uncomfortable sensation, but Ed wanted Roy in him so badly he didn't care. Then Roy's fingers brushed against something inside him, causing the boy to scream in ecstacy.

" Found it..." Roy whispered into Ed's ear, laving the shell of cartledge, adding to the shivers that racked the boy's body.

" Oh god, Roy...take me. N-Now...p-please." Ed whimpered, wanting nothing more than what he just experienced, only with Roy inside.

Roy kissed Ed again, placing his erection before Ed's entrance. Roy pushed slowly into the boy, inch by inch til he was in to the hilt. Roy gasped, Ed was so hot and tight. He stayed for a moment, letting the smaller alchemist get used to the feel of another inside.

Edward moaned at the pressure pressing inside him. He felt so hot and full, and utterly frustrated. His body longed to be fullfilled and laying there wasn't accomplishing it, no matter how pleasurable the sensation of Roy inside him was. Ed tried to move, he wiggled his hips, desperately trying to press against Roy but the man held him still with strong hands firmly gripped at his slim hips.

" R-Roy...please...m-move..." Ed writhed under him, his soft skin coated with sweat. Roy moaned and pushed himself deeper into the boy. Ed cried out, the pain still present along with the sensual friction of Roy's hardness against his inner walls. He didn't care anymore.

They rocked together, Ed's back arching softly against the solid desk, Roy thrusting back. Hot friction, sensual sensations, heavy breath mixed together and sweat erupting along their bodies. Each man had never felt so alive. Soon the tempo picked up, Roy was getting desperate, as was Ed. Metal and flesh fingers dug into strong shoulders, strong legs folded around solid hips.

" R-Roy...I-I need...I...please...I can't...," Ed rasped in the older man's ear.

Roy understood perfectly what Ed wanted. The boy wanted more, he needed more to climax. Roy stopped, if only for a moment and lifted his lover into his lap. They were seated in the chair again, where it all began. As Roy sat still embedded in the younger alchemist, he only penetrated Ed even more, hitting that spot inside him.

Ed was trembling in pleasure and only shuddered more when Roy started to move again. Roy's hands supported his bottom, helping Ed to set the pace this time, guiding the younger alchemist smoothly down his shaft. Small arms wrapped around his neck, fingers tangling in wet black locks. The pace of their lovemaking escaladed, hard and fast now, each man driving the other to climax.

Ed came violently, this being his first time, his warm seed all down the front of Roy's sweat-soaked tanktop. Roy came shortly after, Edward's inner walls pulsing around him. They lay sprawled across his office chair, panting for breath, still trembling in pleasure. Ed rested his head in the crook of Roy's neck and breathed in the scent of his colonel. He wondered if this would be the scent he would crave in the middle of the night for the rest of his days...

Roy moaned and nibbled on Ed's ear. He spoke roughly, his voice still breathless. " I'll never be able to concentrate on work in this office ever again."

Ed smiled and laughed a little. " Like you do any work to begin with Mustang..."

"True...very true..." Roy smiled into Ed's blonde locks, one hand reaching up to play with the golden strands.

They sat like that for a while, just enjoying the feeling of being together, Roy still seated inside. Ed wanted to get used to the sensation. Roy sighed, and lifted Ed off of his lap and onto the desk again. Ed's face changed, thinking Roy was already tired of him, he tried to hide his eyes, knowing they displayed his hurt. Roy smiled and brushed Ed's hair out of his eyes and leaned in to kiss those swollen lips once more. Ed, once again, was surprized with the colonel's gentle kiss.

Roy withdrew reluctantly, a smile settled on his lips and in his dark eyes. " We should get dressed before someone like Fury or Havoc walks in. That door's been unlocked the whole time..."

Ed's eyes grew wide and a deep flush settled over his face, creating a wonderful tomato effect. He'd never felt so naked in his life. He searched around frantically for his clothes. Roy threw them back at him while slipping off his own stained tanktop. The colonel stood there shirtless for a few minutes and Ed just gaped at him. His chest was impressive for someone who just slacked off all the time.

Roy smirked, slipping on his dress-shirt, tucking it into his pants." See something you like...shrimp?"

" What...WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AND PINK AND SMELLY THAT HE COULD BE PASSED OFF AS A SHRIMP!"

Roy laughed at that, he just loved the kid.

" WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT YOU-"

The colonel shut Ed up, capturing his mouth with his own in a warm kiss.

" You are such a prick..."

X X X X X

" I can't believe this..." Havoc whined, digging through his wallet, scrunging up a fifty dollar bill and shoving it into a waiting hand.

" Don't be sore about your own poor judgement," said Hawkeye delightfully, taking money from all the other subordinates as well.

" That's just wrong," exclaimed Breda. Hughes stood beside him and counted his own small pile of cash.

" Yeah, you guys just don't know the brat and that bastard like we do," Hughes grinned, shaking hands with Hawkeye.

FIN...

Final A/N : I finally finished a story! Hooray for me! I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I had too much fun writing it. Especially the end part. LOL. I love Hughes! WHY...OH WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE! (sob) Anyhoo, guys, if you liked the story, please comment. And if you didn't...let me know what I did wrong, okay? Tootles!


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